Therapy

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I'm not entirely sure when I started enjoying listening to other people's problems, but I do remember a time in high school when a friend told me I should be a therapist because I was good at listening and offering solutions. In college, I was frequently confided in - not because I was a particularly trustworthy person or because I had a good listening face (perhaps I do?) - but because people found in me someone willing to listen and willing to provide honest feedback. My personality type (seconded by the Myers Briggs assessment) is one that treats facts logically and I think that it allows me to see a problem and then see a right course of action to solve it.

I've never been known as a really "nice" person (because, I'm really not), but I have been told countless times that I am appreciated for my honesty and genuine advice. If you're going through something, I'm not going to sugarcoat it, but I am going to offer logical and effective advice that will likely get you farther than a hug and a sympathetic face will. And so I find myself in a position of knowing a lot about people, their histories, and their problems. The detective, know-it-all core of my being, of course, loves this, but even more than that guilty pleasure is the joy of knowing I can objectively help someone solve their problem.

I swear that I missed my calling as a counselor, or life coach, or therapist, and I often contemplate going back to school for a Masters in Counseling. I get a ton of joy out speaking with other people about what's going on with them. It never really feels too weighty or too heavy and I rarely find myself shocked about what other people are going through. As far as I am concerned, we're all fighting through the same day, fighting similar demons, and at our core, are all attempting to do the right thing.

Recently, I've found myself on the outskirts of many an issue, listening in to people going through a really difficult time. I won't go into the details, but the overarching theme of the self-talk I keep hearing is this: "I messed up. I am a bad person." I don't know how many times I've heard that over the course of the past few weeks, but the only thing I see resulting from it is self-hatred and negativity that distances them from real solutions. The more you beat yourself up, the more time you dedicate not to solving your problems but to creating a more intense problem with your self-worth. If you make a mistake or go through something difficult or get emotional or want to change your behavior, the last thing that you need is to bring yourself further down. Start giving yourself the benefit of the doubt, like you give others around you. Let yourself grow and change and give yourself the grace to move forward without badgering your core. It's the only chance you have to right your wrongs and live, comfortably, with yourself.