I caught up with a very old friend tonight - one I've known since the hanabata days, Hawaii slang for childhood (the Japanese translation basically means "booger days," which is gross but pretty accurate) - over drinks and dinner. We met in elementary school and from the age of six have been through friendship ups and downs, middle school and high school carpooling, cross-country moves, and we are still friends to this day. This year will mark about 20 years of friendship (not without many a difficulty, reconciliation, and change in hairstyle) and there's something kind of amazing about knowing someone that long. There are very few people in my life, other than my immediate family, that I've known since I was wearing homemade dresses and riding the school bus, vying for a seat amongst the bullies.
We talked tonight about many things - our parents, our fights, our elementary through high school tormenters, our lives in the past three years that we've gone without seeing each other. One theme rang true from the entire evening and it was how much of our childhoods were based off of envy and jealousy for what the other one had. She shared that she had always been envious of my Samantha doll and I shared I'd always been envious of her brand name cereals (Apple Jacks!). She'd always loved the way my house smelled and looked and I'd always been jealous of the way her parents let her do what she wanted (and she had her own room!). Together we shared how mortified we were of our parents' cars, the fact that we carpooled, that we didn't grow up with much money.
How I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to chill out. To stop being embarrassed that my dad had grey hair (seriously, high schoolers will worry about the most idiotic things), or an older pick-up truck, or that my parents didn't buy Pop-Tarts or Apple Jacks for me. I wish I could go back in time and tell my friend that she needn't be jealous of my Samantha doll because she will turn out to be a really awesome person with a great job, a great boyfriend, and a life that's going places fast. But I suppose that's what growing up is about, learning what is and isn't valuable to spend our time thinking about.
I could certainly still use to take a lesson from this visit, that the envy or worry or embarrassment that we all inevitably feel about our money/job/career/home/looks/direction isn't worth it. If you're happy and surrounded by people that you love, that's about all that matters.
We talked tonight about many things - our parents, our fights, our elementary through high school tormenters, our lives in the past three years that we've gone without seeing each other. One theme rang true from the entire evening and it was how much of our childhoods were based off of envy and jealousy for what the other one had. She shared that she had always been envious of my Samantha doll and I shared I'd always been envious of her brand name cereals (Apple Jacks!). She'd always loved the way my house smelled and looked and I'd always been jealous of the way her parents let her do what she wanted (and she had her own room!). Together we shared how mortified we were of our parents' cars, the fact that we carpooled, that we didn't grow up with much money.
How I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to chill out. To stop being embarrassed that my dad had grey hair (seriously, high schoolers will worry about the most idiotic things), or an older pick-up truck, or that my parents didn't buy Pop-Tarts or Apple Jacks for me. I wish I could go back in time and tell my friend that she needn't be jealous of my Samantha doll because she will turn out to be a really awesome person with a great job, a great boyfriend, and a life that's going places fast. But I suppose that's what growing up is about, learning what is and isn't valuable to spend our time thinking about.
I could certainly still use to take a lesson from this visit, that the envy or worry or embarrassment that we all inevitably feel about our money/job/career/home/looks/direction isn't worth it. If you're happy and surrounded by people that you love, that's about all that matters.